The First Kiss

Excitement, confusion, and happiness run through you as you knock on her door for the first time as something more then just a friend coming to visit. A grin spreads across your face as your eyes meet, a similar one spread across her face and you take a second to bask in it before you step through the doorway. You both sit awkwardly on opposite sides of the couch. You talk about the decision last night, unable to look each other in the eye for longer then a quick glimpse. You fidget with your hands, wanting so much to have hers in them. She makes the suggestion to move to her bedroom and you agree following her, thankful for a brief break in the tension. The only sitting is on her twin sized bed, so now you sit next to her so close that if you only just reached out you would have her in your arms, however the fear of the unknown causes you to just sit and continue the idle conversation. The desire to kiss her has become so unbearable that it is all you can think about. She offers you some vodka which she confesses she had some of to calm her own nerves. You take a swig from the bottle, realizing happily that your lips have touched hers by proxy.
You wrack your brain for a way to make up for the courage your heart lacks. The conversation had turned to languages and your brain finally struck upon an idea. You ask her to count in French, the language of love, which she auspiciously knew a little bit of. She rattles of one through ten faster then you had time to react. You panic and ask her to do it in reverse so you can have time to recoup. She lets out a short laugh as she confesses that this would take a bit of thinking on her part. You build up courage as she counts down. Soon she only has 5 fingers up, so you focus on her lips.
Trios…deux…un…

Le dernier baiser

You turn away so she won't see your tears as she gets ready to walk out the door, but before you can she kisses you gently on the lips. A goodbye kiss she says. You look at her with tears welling in your eyes and try to hold it together long enough for her to turn away and walk out the door. The door slams shut and you collapse onto the ground sobbing. You hate yourself for feeling so weak after a simple kiss, but you can't shake the feeling of utter loss that overwhelms you in the emptiness of your apartment.

Dark

You feel it in the pit of your stomach, but your heart won’t even recognize that such a thing could happen. You crawl into bed in the middle of the afternoon and cry until your teddy bear can no longer wipe away all your tears. You feel like such a fool to have fallen so hard for someone who in the end didn’t even care enough to let you know.