Obsession is bad

So the desperation led to an actual phone conversation. It's weird how hearing someone's voice makes you instantly grow dumb and forget everything that you had planned on saying and just melt you down to a helpless blob. Well, at least now I've heard the rejection in their voice, so I guess that truely is the end. As if throwing items they've given you over the past years across the room wasn't enough to get things out of your system, I have to totally kill everything. Man, I've been mopey lately. How do people stand being around me? The process of removal is going to be slow and painful and probably never over, cuz the level of embededment is pretty damn deep. Thank goodness for friends who worry. Oh, funny thing is when I told the parents, they totally thought this was the end of it for me- I was now going to become a spinster now in their eyes. Thanks alot for the support, parents. ^_^ <--- Happy face is a good sign of recovery. I also decided to get my mind off of things so I started the videogame binge, which lasted all of 20 minutes, but on the upside, I switched to tv and ended up watching a good 2 hours of mindless programming which made me wonder about the state of society. Stream of consciousness writing is the most awesome form of creativity ever regurgitated from the mind of humankind.
I guess I can go back to checking out guys instead of checking out girls to scope out the level of competition. I'm out of practice. I should throw out some specs for potentials. The guy would either have to fit the list or be the complete opposite, in most cases I prefer the complete opposite because I think if you're too much like me, I'd have to hate you, too.

-like music (be able to have a conversation using only titles of songs or lyrics from songs or play an instrument)
-like videogames (I do own all the consoles and need a buddy to play with/against)
-be a complete dork
-like doing things like going outside, trying new things, being fun ^_^

Hopefully that's not asking too much.

An update on the state of my new life changes is in order. Let's see. I managed to be relatively friendly at my cousin's birthday party and I made plans to go to Vegas the weekend of July 4th. Let's hope that I manage to get my lazy posterior out of bed tomorrow for that jog to get the physique into shape for the horror known as bathing suit season. And now some lyrics from the song of the moment:

It's all over but the crying
Fade to black I'm sick of trying
Took too much and now I'm done
It's all over but the crying

Baby we're done

If I could I would
I'd change everything
Cause I can't forget you though you don't believe me
Now I can't walk back
I can't leave behind
Where does it go all the light that we had?