Health Awareness

In an effort to be healthier, I've invested in a moutain bike. Action shots coming soon, I hope. Now if I can only get the rest of my life in order . . .

Virii

I find myself spending more time then I'm comfortable with at doctor's offices and hospitals. I wish I could go back to an earlier age, when health was in abundance and I wasn't cognizant of anything. This unhealth has spread to my computer. If only real virii were as easy to get rid of as the virtual ones.

Strange Dreams

I've recently been having some really bad/disturbing dreams. It's kind of creepy and scary. Oh well, nothing to be done about it.

On a more interesting note, I've been playing Animal Crossing (finally). It's pretty neat, except for the fact that you need to play fairly constantly. My hour after work just isn't cutting it. Something fun and random to do at least. One of the characters in the game sang this awesome song:

Ye can't go wrong with me cucumber song.
Cucumber, Cucumber so green and long.
They're the best ripe an' raw or with some cole slaw.
Please get me two or three that I can gnaw!
Oh, cucumber...

Oh so cute.

Here's the lid to the drink. I just thought it was a cool drawing of a random character/animal/big-nosed fruit thing. 

so I really enjoyed this drink. First off, it's pink and secondly it tasted like an arizona tea, but it says it's grapefruit flavored, which totally befuddled me. 

omg! why is my desk so cluttered??!?! it's like a "Where's Waldo?" book, minus the agonzing fun of intelligent search when I have to find something. 

Thanks, Everyone

I just wanted to thank everyone for being so great to me in general and for my graduation day of fun and excitement. It was awesome. Especially the relatives for the funds to help start my post-school life. Much appreciated. Vegas will be very fun because of it. ^_^

graduation day, how exciting. why is the family never looking at the right place? 

Happy Birthday to me. My froggy chair wishes you good day on this special day. 

23

Man, my posts have been depressing.

I'm turning 23 this week, yay. It doesn't seem as exciting as it once used to, but I think that's because mid-twenties aren't exactly the greatest ages to be. You're now old and have nothing to look forward to. Exciting stuff.

I rediscovered my love for adventure gaming. You know the old point and click, puzzle solving goodness from yesteryear. My oldtime favorites include the Gabriel Knight series, Space Quest, Monkey Island, etc. I think I can finally beat those evil puzzles now, without having to resort to a walkthrough every other action. So Still Life was released on the Xbox, which made me very excited, because it's next to impossible to find an adventure game nowadays. It arrived yesterday at about 2 in the mail and i played til about 2am, with a few breaks for food and naps and stuff inbetween, then woke up at like 10 and played for another hour and I had the game finished. It was pretty interesting and really brought me back to why I liked videogames, but then again I am freakish. Don't worry, the game was only 20 bucks, so it wasn't that horrible of a price to gameplay hours ratio. I'm now eagerly awaiting the sequel and I'm hoping to find the prequel of sorts, some game called "Post Mortem" for the PC. We'll see if I can find it or not.



I felt for sure last night
At once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me
Im still driving away
And Im sorry every day
I wont always love these selfish things
I wont always live...
Stop it...

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
Ill be 23
I wont always love what Ill never have
I wont always live in my regrets

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Youll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
Im here and now Im ready
Holding on tight
Dont give away the end
The one thing that stays mine...

The Way We Were

Today wasn't terrible. I wasn't feeling myself or very sociable, so I guess I've taken a step backwards on my road to self improvement. But then again, I could take my usual optimistic viewpoint and say that it's good to let this stuff out every now and then. Anyways, instead of doing the typical Friday-night-out-partying-thing (typical for whom exactly?) I was at home watching "The Way We Were". It was a pretty good cheesy kind of romance. It didn't make me cry, so that's always a plus. My favorite quote from the movie is below. I guess I can relate to how the character was feeling. And yes, the male lead's name was really Hubbell.

Katie: Anyway the peculiar thing is-- It's really a request... a favor. You see, I can't sleep, Hubbell. And it would help me so much if you could, well, if i had someone to talk to. You, know, if I had a best friend or something to talk about it with. Only, you're my best friend. Isn't that dumb? So dumb.You're the best friend I ever had. And...it would help me so much if you could come over and see me through tonight. Listen...Hubbell, I promise I won't touch you, or...beg you...or embarass you. But I have to talk to my best friend about someone we both know. So, Hubbell, could you please come over right away? Please?

The word for next week is "birthuation" which if you dont' know what it implies, then shame on you! So wish me a happy birthuation. Yeah, I know, nothing will ever beat Christmakuh.

Mem’ries,
Like the corners of my mind
Misty water-colored memories
Of the way we were
Scattered pictures,
Of the smiles we left behind
Smiles we gave to one another
For the way we were
Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we? could we?
Mem’ries, may be beautiful and yet
What’s too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget
So it’s the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember...
The way we were...
The way we were...

Good News

Without a significant other, you lose a person to confide in, that won't judge you and with whom you can really celebrate your triumphs. It's still awesome to tell you're close friends that you got promoted or your birthday/graduation is coming up so everyone starts making plans with you, but it's just not the same as having that special someone to share it with. But I just wanted to wish Bob good luck on his promotion which should have gone into effect yesterday and since I really shouldn't say it in person (I think there's a waiting period after you have a bad breakup where you can't talk to the other person) the blog is a good a place as any. I miss having that special confidant with whom my soul was an open book that I wasn't afraid to have read.

Oh, and I should really knock before entering any room with a closed door, even if it's my own room. Man, that was not something I needed to see.

Song of the moment:

I want to read good news
I want to be innocent again
I want to read good news
But nothing good is happening

I want to read good news
I want to be a little kid again
I want to read good news
But nothing good is happening
I want to read good news
I want to go to sleep at night again
I want to read good news
But nothing good is happening

You're So Last Summer

Last night was a bad night. I couldn't sleep, so I left my comp on playing some music. I don't think that helped any either. I kept waking up from these bad dreams. I don't remember what happened in the dreams, but I know they were more nightmare then dream. I thought I had him mostly out of my head, but it just came back full force last night. Pretty badly at that. The one good thing I remember was that all of it happened while The Killers was playing, so at least the soundtrack to my dreams was good. Two nights in a row of limited sleep is starting to really wear me down though.

I realized a few things in my moments between sleep:

1. Commonality of the Ex's
Both relationships lasted alittle over 2 years, but started getting pretty bad before then. Both boys were from the Bay area, so part of the relationship was long distance. They had a strange allergy to kiwi. Once I get a watch as a present, the relationship will soon be over.

2. Change for the Sake of Change is Bad
I don't think I should be trying to improve myself just because of the breakup. I think I should be doing it because I want to for myself. Learning to cook has always been on my list of things I want to be able to do, so I'm keeping that and the whole idea of being a domestic goddess. Being friendly is always nice to be too, so that's also a keeper. As is fitness, so that will stay. I'm just going to try to stay who I am and not change because I'm incompatible with others.

3. Routine is Hard to Break
We used to watch this anime called Naruto together. It's an awesome anime and if you don't already watch it, you should. At the time of this writing there are about 140+ episodes, all of which we had watched together in some way. Now that we're not together, it just doesn't seem right to watch it by myself. I just can't seem to bring myself to watch, but at the same time, I miss watching it because it was such a good show. I'll just have to wait and see if time will help me get over this.

And now for the song of the moment:

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

And all I (all I)
Need to know (need to know)
Is that I'm something you'll be missing
(is that I'm something that you're missing)
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that...

Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions

Cause I Have to

My mom's recovering from her surgery, so I've been designated the new helper in the kitchen. My first duty (after getting up at 7 to drive my dad to Cerritos to get the minivan of doom fixed) was to prepare some chicken. Sounds simple enough, that is until you realize that the chicken still has its head attached! The horror, the horror! There's definitely a small desire to turn vegetarian at that point, that is until I remember that I'm a member of PETA (People who Eat Tasty Animals). Two days of domesticity, so far. For horrowing pictures of the first event go here. Things are going pretty well, if you consider well being that no one has died yet. ^_^

Now for the truely sad news. My PSP has a dead pixel! >.< Thanks, Sony! However, Lumines still distracts away from it with it's lights and sounds. Yay for fun games.

The song of the moment (hopefully the last tortured song for awhile) and the end of my attempt to make a post for the last 8 hours between being distracted and having to run errands:

Green are my eyes, they've seen so much compassion
I couldnt have changed but too much suffering inside so now I'm said and done
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you 'cause I have to
And now I spend most of my time playing computer games
And wishing I was loving like most of my friends oh I am so ashamed
I love you, I love you, I love you I love you 'cause I have to

I love you 'cause I have to
Make everything OK
I love you 'cause I have to
Go away

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you 'cause I have to
And now I make much noise reading, ficking through rubbish
Contribution is the solution to an endless black hole and through the malice
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you 'cause I have to
Green are my eyes, they've seen so much compassion
I couldnt have changed but too much suffering inside so now I'm said and done
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you 'cause I have to

I love you 'cause I have to
Make everything OK
I love you 'cause I have to
Go away

It's A Mess

Unfortunately, I haven't gotten everything out of my system yet, so I ended up buying a bunch of games. The order I placed came, so I got Half-Life 2 and Phantom Dust. Still Life got pushed back, so I won't see that for another week at the earliest. Then I went and picked up Jungle Beat, Animal Crossing, Socom II, and Resident Evil 4. I realized that I still suck at the RE series and it still scares me when I play. Never a good sign of how strong I am. I finally managed to play through some of Jungle Beat and it was pretty fun. I think I might have even started to glow while playing. Hopefully I'll have tone arms by the end of all this. I can't play hl2 because I still haven't gotten a video card that will run it. I do need to pick up one soon, before I loose interest or the spending spree stops because I finally come to my senses. I played some Phantom Dust and the gameplay is pretty unique. The story is kind of slow right now and I feel like I'm just doing alot of nothing, since I can't figure out how to increase my skills or whatnot, plus the boss creature has me beat for the last 10 attempts. How depressing.
On the upside of things, I saw the beginning of Battlestar Galatica: The miniseries. It was good stuff. Lots of fun battle scenes, good story, and it's a sci-fi show. All good things. Now if I could only find the time to watch more of it between the videogames.
I think my mom needs more practice in the caring/understanding parent department. I informed her of my breakup and she just keeps bringing it up. She asked me if he had called today, followed promptly by "do you think he had another girl?" Geez. You would think they'd just let you alone to fester in self-misery without the reminder that you are no longer with that person. These things aside, I did manage to not think about him constantly. I think it's dropped down to about once an hour or so now. Taking into account that when I do think about him, it's not for too long, so percentage wise things are getting better.
It's strange having to cut someone out of your life when you were just getting used to them being in it. No song of the moment today, kiddies. I'm sitting in silence.