You're So Last Summer

Last night was a bad night. I couldn't sleep, so I left my comp on playing some music. I don't think that helped any either. I kept waking up from these bad dreams. I don't remember what happened in the dreams, but I know they were more nightmare then dream. I thought I had him mostly out of my head, but it just came back full force last night. Pretty badly at that. The one good thing I remember was that all of it happened while The Killers was playing, so at least the soundtrack to my dreams was good. Two nights in a row of limited sleep is starting to really wear me down though.

I realized a few things in my moments between sleep:

1. Commonality of the Ex's
Both relationships lasted alittle over 2 years, but started getting pretty bad before then. Both boys were from the Bay area, so part of the relationship was long distance. They had a strange allergy to kiwi. Once I get a watch as a present, the relationship will soon be over.

2. Change for the Sake of Change is Bad
I don't think I should be trying to improve myself just because of the breakup. I think I should be doing it because I want to for myself. Learning to cook has always been on my list of things I want to be able to do, so I'm keeping that and the whole idea of being a domestic goddess. Being friendly is always nice to be too, so that's also a keeper. As is fitness, so that will stay. I'm just going to try to stay who I am and not change because I'm incompatible with others.

3. Routine is Hard to Break
We used to watch this anime called Naruto together. It's an awesome anime and if you don't already watch it, you should. At the time of this writing there are about 140+ episodes, all of which we had watched together in some way. Now that we're not together, it just doesn't seem right to watch it by myself. I just can't seem to bring myself to watch, but at the same time, I miss watching it because it was such a good show. I'll just have to wait and see if time will help me get over this.

And now for the song of the moment:

I'd never lie to you
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to
Unless I had to
I'll do what I got to, the truth
is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

And all I (all I)
Need to know (need to know)
Is that I'm something you'll be missing
(is that I'm something that you're missing)
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that far
(maybe I should hate for this)
Maybe I should hate you for this
Never really did ever quite get that...

Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions